Log in

June 2011

Powered by LiveJournal.com

The House Crew - Best of Rave volume 2

Artist: The House Crew
Album name: Best of Rave volume 2
Tracks :
  1. MP3LogoWe are Hardcore

I can't help but feel i'm somewhat to blame.?

Let me start with my past. I was raised in a christian household and always very religious. Starting from a young age I would have odd feelings. It wasn't until I was in junior high I realized these feeling could very well be a gift from God. I remember I had a dream that my puppy's foot got ran over by a four-wheeler, and the next day she was limping. Come to find out, she had broken her leg. Strange things like this continued to happen. When I turned 16 I had an overwhelming feeling I would get into a wreck. A mile down the road I smashed through a fence, totaling my car. I knew my sister was pregnant before she did. There are so many other happenings like this, but i'll fast forward to recent. I heard my dogs barking in an old milk barn and went to see what was going on. I found a kitten. I knew we couldn't keep it inside, so put it where i found it (High on a shelf where the mother had obviously put it.) and baricaded the door as best I could to prevent the dogs from getting to it. I have a Jack Russel Terrier. The breed is known to kill small critters. I told my parents this cat is going to be killed and we need to do something. We tried to give the kitten away for a week but nobody wanted it. I kept saying it's not going to survive at my house. I found it dead on my porch yesterday. We are remodeling our entire store, so there are several people working on electricity, shelving floors etc. Today the lights went out twice in a five minute period. I made the comment to a coworker, "I wonder if someone just died." Worrying about the electric crew. A few hours later I find out that a 13 year old boy had been playing with a wire and touched the highline, killing him. Which is what caused the flicker. Did I speak the cat..and the boy into exsistence? I can't help but feel I somewhat caused it. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I am so sick about all this. My heart hurts for his family, and I feel such an extreme amount of guilt for even saying what I did. Did I kill the kitten? I talked to my manager, who is a minister, about what transpired. He explained that Satan doesn't know our mind, but when things are spoken, he has the ability to make them occur. I don't know how to get over this guilt. What are your opinions? Has this ever happened to any of ya'll? I've prayed about it, but just can't find the peace I usually get from prayer.